5 Years

The top picture is me and mom on top of the World Trade Center in 1981 (notice the Statue of Liberty?). The second picture is me in the observatory deck as a little kid with my cousins. The final picture is what it looks like today.

In all honesty, this anniversary is getting harder for me as the years go by. In 2001 I was just a few months into my 2 year mission in Idaho and dealt with the initial shock and fear for my parents (who were both within 1.5 miles when it happened) with the knowledge that I was working 12 hours a day to comfort people and improve their lives. In my mom's words, the forces of good are still much more powerful than the forces of evil in the world, and I was on the frontline of that battle. The same was true in 2002 as I learned that it was somehow therapeutic for Idahoans to talk to me, a New Yorker, as it made what they saw on tv seem real and so I learned to handle talking about it 12 times a day. 2003 was when I came back home to NYC and saw ground zero for the first time. Believe or not, I had only seen the video of what happened one time before 2003, and so I took some time to really digest what my hometown went through. 2004 was when I cried the most over the loss and what could have been lost. I worked just a few blocks away and could have been assigned to work within the WTC had I been home in 2001. Now, in 2005, the predominate feeling I have is deep dissapointment and anger. Is the world safer than it was this day 5 years ago? Absolutely not. In fact, I think it has only gotten worse. I put up these pictures of me as a little kid in the WTC to emphasize the point that when I watched those buildings go down, it was like a part of me, my childhood, home and family had been attacked. I'm so dissapointed that the feeling of unity and comraderie that existed at that time has dissipated, yet I can't help but want to point the finger of blame myself. The editorial in today's NY Times sums up my feelings well, check it out here. As you probably know by now, I am an optimist at heart and though I wish we weren't in the current situation, I think there's a lot of good that can come of it and I really believe and pray that peace, love and civility will develop out of this mess.